2 x bottles of Lake Tehua Sauvignon Blanc
1 x v. expensive meal from the best Chinese in Edinburgh
6000ish x MP3s on random and played at about 11 on the volume control
1 x hair dye
Mix all ingredients together, dance around sitting room for about 45 minutes, rinse hair. Eat Chinese meal. Dance some more. After 4 hours ignore neighbours knocking on door, point speakers out of windows and sing. When police arrive inquire why they have no real criminals to chase, tell them that you have stockings that are older than them and inquire if the police service now have a positive discrimination policy on the recruitment of dwarfs. Accept ASBO and go to bed, with music still playing, just slightly quieter. Frame ASBO on wall following day.
Wish me luck.
Edit: spotted this