"No more embarrassment, no more oor wee Nicola shifting about uncomfortably in a bastard BBC studio with that drip Murphy nearly touching her sanctified person, listening to the big horsey faced bastard spouting smug New Labour lies and negativity,"
"Under the guise of building a Clyde to Mull of Galloway canal we will provide full employment for all those Labour voting Glaswegian traitors for about two years. Once the canal is flooded, the largest towing barge in the world, secretly under construction at Kishorn, will tow the whole of "TraitorLand" into the middle of the Atlantic."
"We will then construct a tidal barrier from the Mull of Galloway to the Mull of Kintyre. This will provide enough electricity to power all of Europe through the 13 Amp interconnect we are currently laying aff the back of the adapted Fraserburgh trawler "Insanity", on route from Eyemouth to Oostvoorne. That and the oil will guarantee Bagpipes, Whisky, Tartan Dolls and Haggis for every patriot for generations tae come."How dare they vote against us?