To extend my tortuous metaphor further; I do wish Brown and Cameron would keep their respective election erections in their pants - the fact that both of them share a boner when called upon to perform solo is, for most of us swooning ladies, an unedifying spectacle - Oh Mr Brown, Mr Cameron I am undone...
However after a shot across their bows, so to speak, by the usually somnambulent speaker John Bercow thusly
Order. May I just say to Members on both sides that we are not on the hustings now?the farce descended into a tragic derivative comedy, cleverly based on the ambiguous use of our Chancellor's surname (the relevant exchange can be read in full here) - in a bewildering Blackadder-esque homo erotic parody. A lesson in why politicians, like the little boys they are, should be seen and not heard. Read and weep:
DC: The difference between me and the Prime Minister is this: when I lean across and say, "I love you, darling," I really mean it. The only divorce that has taken place is between this Prime Minister and reality.And this gentlemen, is how to do it -
GB: The Right hon. gentleman talks about love and marriage, when he is the person who cannot give a straight answer on the married couples allowance
DC: If the Prime Minister wants to turn this around and make it Prime Minister's questions, he should get on and call the election. Then there would be all the time in the world to kiss and make up.