Monday, 4 January 2010

The Most Useless Machine - Ever!

This will be part of a new series of posts for 2010 - "The Most Useless ***** Ever", suggestions gratefully received.


  1. Erm... I'm obviously missing something here.

  2. There is something intriguingly paradoxical about this machine. What does it do? It switches itself off. But that is not a function, it is a feature: a feature of many machines that do have a function, such as video recorders, which switch themselves off after recording for the programmed amount of time.

    But wait, did a VCR perform a function if you never got round to watching the recording? Maybe that's even more useless because it contains stuff that is 'done' to no purpose. So, in an effort to undermine the uselessness of some machines. I suggest the following:

    Use the useless device to control the off-button of a VCR and reprogram the VCR remote to operate a little servo motor that throws the switch on the useless device.

    You'll never have to not watch recorded video again.

    Maybe you can come up with a most useless instruction book ever. I have an ambition, that will probably remain unfulfilled, to write 'Ventriloquism for Dummies'.

  3. Subrosa, the point, or lack of it as it is, is that the only function of this machine is to switch itself off when you switch it on - switching it on activates a mechanism that lifts a finger that pops up and pushes the switch off.

    Now that is useless, but not as useless as...

    Edgar, you had to find a use didn't you :-)

  4. I quite like it.

    I suspect it is a good barometer of one's current mood. Does it piss you off? Does it make you smile? Does it want to make you slit your wrists? Does it make you realise how small and insignificant you are to be outwitted by a daft machine?

    Very Kraftwerk.

  5. @WW - Kraftwerk - perfect...

    @Bugger - he is indeed, but he's only trying to make sense of something that does not compute - Egg Heads are all the same :D He will explode in a yolky mess shortly.