It was a close thing today; for a picosecond or two it looked like the Tories might actually have to come up with some policies before the general election. The 'Hoon-Hewitt letter non-event' had the Tories sweating, even more oleaginous than usual - if you can imagine that?
For a fleeting moment their dark hearts sank at the thought of the loss of their one major election asset - Gordon Brown.
Fortunately for Osborne and Cameron even has-been-now-went New-Labour MPs, specifically Geoff and Patricia, maintain standards in competence that ensure nothing they ever put their hands to will succeed. Maintaining a 110% KPI in incompetence and abject failure is now a New Labour tradition, the only tradition; and even this headline grabbing coup was destined to scream to the ground in flames from the get go.
Support, timing, research - you know all those things that go into planning a successful project, all blithely ignored by two wannabe rebels; in a neat reminder (as if we needed one) of why these grasping idiots should not be given control of the Westminster tuck shop, let alone anything of importance.
So the George and Dave Roadshow can rest easy tonight in the knowledge that they won't have to face David Millipede PM across the dispatch box before the election - because that would really have swung it in Labour's favour, wouldn't it?
Well he's formidable isn't he?
So credible and authoritative
with that banana and everything.......
EDIT: A veh funneh tek on teh hole "coo fer a noo leeduh" buy Librel Conspiracy