Where have I been?
What have I been doing?
With whom and why?
Who cares?
Now that would be telling, that is I mean I will be telling: Such tales I have collected, things I have witnessed - adventure, philosophy, derring-do, psychopaths and mountainpaths, drunken nights in bothies and damp nights under sodden canvas - or to be precise whatever very flammable (as I discovered) artificial canvas substitute modern tents are taped together with.